Hidden Effort, Hidden Value

November 10, 2021

In order to value yourself you need to see your effort.

Sadly, I learned this lesson from guilt.

No one made me feel guilty, I just felt it because I thought wasn’t doing enough.

For example, if I played with the kids, I fell behind on email. If I caught up on email, I didn’t give enough attention to the kids.

To assuage the guilt, I began to train my eyes a little better.

I looked more closely at what people around me were doing and I imagined what it took.

I began to see my wife’s patience when our son interrupted her for the third time in an hour.

I began to see the courage a colleague showed in trying techniques she was not comfortable with.

Oddly enough, seeing the efforts in others helped me to see my own efforts more clearly.

For example, I now see how much effort is involved in refraining from sending emails to avoid thinking about them.

If you’re like most people I know, you probably see only a fraction of your efforts because you are always trying to keep up.

The effort is hidden.

When you unhide the effort, you start to see your value in a whole new light.

—Michael Felberbaum

Turn this minute into a moment

Next time you get a fiery email or text message, linger on it for a bit. See how much effort you are expending in trying to shape your reply. Reply or not? What to say? This kind of hidden effort is there all day long whether you see it or not.

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