Henry, a father of three boys, works as an insurance underwriter and has a lot of demands on his time. His days are consumed by endless rounds of research and writing, meetings and approvals. His firm deals with large, multinational companies that need complex policies, sometimes at the last minute. The pressure is always on.
Henry’s Tasks
One day Henry’s wife, a nurse, has a night shift at the hospital. Henry has a large policy due the next morning, but he also has to pick up his youngest son from basketball practice that night, take him home, and make sure everyone eats. There’s a lot of money riding on this policy, and Henry has a fifteen-item checklist he must complete before submitting the draft in the morning.
the productivity struggle
Struggling to be productive, Henry leaves late, annoyed that he has to interrupt his work to pick up his son. He drives through traffic thinking about the insurance policy and the mounting list of tasks that await him. Every red light and stopped car steals precious seconds.
When his son gets in the car they have a short conversation, but Henry’s mind is elsewhere. He drives through traffic, curses the slowness of other drivers, and notices his son looking slightly frightened by this side of his father.
Henry remembers his own dad and apologizes, explaining that he really wants to get home. Once inside, he orders a couple of pizzas, tells his sons to get him when the food arrives, sits down in his office, and pulls out the checklist. He rubs his eyes and dreams of the vacation he’ll take in six months, then gets to work, already exhausted with a long night ahead.
a causative approach
Instead of trying to be productive 100% of the time, Henry does a causative RESET. He sorts out the tasks from the asks. He thinks “I have to pick up my son.” And then he reframes: “I want to pick up my son, I am just not ready because I am so pre-occupied with this policy.”
Henry keeps an eye on the clock and leaves on time. On the drive, his mind drifts to the policy, but he re-centers himself so he can be ready for his son. When his son gets in the car, Henry is mentally there for him. The drive is no longer an obligation. They talk about practice. Henry asks questions as he navigates the mass of cars and terrible drivers.
When they get home, they still order pizzas and Henry still tells his sons to get him when the food arrives. Sitting down in his office, Henry pulls out his list and says to himself, “I hate this policy. I can always look for a new job, but for now let me get through this as quickly as possible. Maybe I will listen to some good music.” He is tired but not exhausted; he has the energy he needs.
Notice the difference between the two approaches?
In the productivity example, Henry was forcing himself forward, preoccupied, distracted, and rushing to fulfill his external obligations (leave the office, get son, drive home, order food, finish policy review).
When he shifts from trying to be productive to being causative, Henry did all the same things, but he separated the tasks from the asks. It may have taken him a moment or two longer, but they were small moments when compared to the overall benefit of his deliberate choices to live his life fully. He was causative.